Sausage Hospital

by Mike TV



SAUSAGE HOSPITAL: 5% Pork / 10% Perspiration / 85% Studio Surgery.

Out now via Don't Rush Me Records.

It was recorded, produced & mixed by Peter Miles & James Bragg at Middle Farm Studios in Devon from Jan 4th - 21st, 2014. Domb & Jhon had to go back in February because they forgot to finish one song. It was mastered by Jason Livermore at The Blasting Rooms, Colorado in April 2014. FYI: It’s called Sausage Hospital because it’s full of sick bangers.

Artwork was created by Mister Black. We’d like to thank all the aforementioned people, plus Bill Stevenson, Paul Huang, Ian Armstrong, Banquet Records, The Dixons, everyone in Tongeren, Donagh at Bomber Music, Deny Putman, Tim & Rick in Stoke, Rob Fuzzard, Frosty and all the bands we like and all the people we like. Simon Crates does loads for us, so a special thanks to him.

For all band info:
For bookings, press or just to say hello:
All songs published by Bomber Music Ltd. © Mike TV & Don’t Rush Me Records.


released July 7, 2014

Domb Thumb - Lead Vocals & Bass Guitar.
Jhon Cosgrove - Guitar & Vocals.
Richie ‘Coops’ Cooper - Guitar & Vocals.
Glyn Danzig - Drums & Vocals.

All songs & lyrics written by D.Harper. Except: Earworm, Myoclonic Jerk, Pasquinade & Vanilla Gorilla - J.Cosgrove wrote the lyrics. The band: D.Harper/R.Cooper/J.Cosgrove/G.Mellor arranged & performed the songs. Coops did all the good solos, Jhon did the Dear Bill Hicks one. Domb did the bass solos with his thumb. Glyn & Jhon went hill running twice and then couldn’t be fucked again. Pete & James did a great job at making it sound good. Pete went to New Zealand half way through, as he had a role in The Lord Of The Rings musical. James took over and was more debonair and less hirsute than Pete. They were ably assisted by Chris Edkins and Matt Cambridge, who both did some engineering & recording stuff. Thanks to Annie, Richard & the dogs for all the food. The dogs didn’t do any baking but they were great at barking. The vocals at the start of ‘I love Myself And I Want To Live’ are by Richie’s son, Charlie. He’s four & he knows all the words. Even the rude ones. Simon Crates & James Bragg did some gang vocals. Richard Bushby wrote the solos for ‘I love Myself And I Want To Live’ & ‘Let Down’ before he left the band to become the President of the Robot Wars Online Fan Club.

French people: Please note, we know that ‘Ferme La Bouche’ isn’t grammatically correct, so ferme la bouche.



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Mike TV Dartford, UK


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Track Name: Welcome!
Welcome to the Sausage Hospital!
Track Name: Letting Go
I've been having difficulty letting go,
I've been having difficulty letting go,
I know that, can’t console that, it's not right.
I've been having difficulty letting go,
I've been having trouble, cannot let it show
You know that, can't control, no end in sight.

Coz I'm having trouble getting over you.
Seems like everyday I'm finding something new.
Whoa! Don't look back, where you felt just fine.
You can rise above, it just takes some time.

I've been having difficulty letting go,
I've been having trouble letting no one know
A fool that, takes it's toll that, restless night.

I've been having difficulty letting go,
I've been having difficulty letting go,
I know that, can’t console that, it's not right.
Track Name: Earworm
One does what one can
And it helps your senses fizz.
One does what one can
And I'm swimming in hubris.
Serotonin's gone?
Then you'll listen to this one.
Coz one does what one can
And you're gonna love this hit.

Woah Oh, an earworm!
Listen to this song and sing along.
Woah Oh-oh-oh, an earworm
Buried in your skull until it’s gone.

One does what one can,
There's a party in your head.
One does what one can
And your cerebellum’s fed
It is ringing in your ear.
Coz one does what one can
Oh, can you fucking hear??

Woah Oh, an earworm
Listen to this song, repeat anon
Woah Oh-oh-oh, an ear worm
It's gyrating through the sonic fog.

One does what one can,
And it makes me feel annoyed
One does what one can,
Are all the shit songs destroyed?

I'm my biggest fan.
Track Name: Alcoholocaustic
I live a life of Sundays,
Resident sad clown,
Back, sack, and crack me up,
High flying, the only way is down.
Arresting on the armrest,
Unrest in Middle East
It's snowing on the tube,
I've been derailed another week.

I'm living out my darkest days,
Sweet amber petrified me,
Now numb and stuck the dumb,
Act out Lucifer’s every whim.

So call it entertainment?
Call it Ragnarök?
Now roll your eyes, ignore the madness
and keep it Beta Blocked.

Going Brian Wilson,
Channelling '69,
Sitting, counting phantom spiders,
Laying eggs in my mind.
Sticking to glum like gum,
I'm a night time terror fugitive,
Heart beats on the run.

These really are my darkest days,
Sweet amber petrified me,
Now numb and stuck the dumb,
Act out Lucifer’s every whim.
Track Name: I Love Myself And I Want To Live
I've felt a change deep inside me
Everything’s grey,
Outlook is bleak.
A hollow crevice in my soul,
Day after day, a deeper hole.

Can not hear that sweet voice talking,
I've commandeered a hopeless route in,
Abra-cadaver, a dead man walking.
I'm losing all control…
Gonna crack!

At first a flash of "It's alright."
(Something’s not right)
But in a snap it turns and bites,
It's getting hard to even care,
Can feel my gut, bleeding despair.

Can not hear that sweet voice talking,
I've commandeered a hopeless route in,
Constant fear, a dead man walking.
I'm losing all control…
Gonna crack!

Can't get this rats' nest out my mind.
It eats away at all the week I've left behind.
Try to relax, but can't keep still.
To quote Spike Milligan, "I told you I was ill."

Something’s not right.

Can not hear that sweet voice talking,
I've commandeered a hopeless route in,
Abra-cadaver, a dead man walking.
I'm losing all control, it's starting to take it's toll.
Gonna crack!
Track Name: Dear Bill Hicks
Dear Bill Hicks,
It's pop o’clock, they still suck Satan's cock.
It's a shame,
All they want is money and the fame.

Coz it's not over now
And we've got to back right up,
Or we run the risk of burying what started off so smart.
Well it's not over now,
And we never will give in,
We'll flush away those mass produced pop turds that float to the top.

Dear Bill Hicks,
The passion's wained,
There are no Kurt Cobains.
Simon's fat cow got milked to death,
No substance left remains.

Sick of hip-hop lite,
And what the auto tune can hide.
Beat the Brit-School brats,
Joey go at them with a baseball bat.

Soulless, manufactured, superficial music.
Track Name: GYC
Diefenbaker using Snus,
Custard Balls with Buttmelt.
The bad reviews, so long Punknews,
Stoic, Minor Defect.
Defecating round the back, Ninja Fairy high on crack,
The Ghost Mice, when we played under trees,
PBS, Hooray For Me.
Friends of Ed, Blame It On Edd and Complex GSL!
A fire engine just pulled up outside,
Someone pushed the fire-bell.
Track Name: Fade In Blue
When we were together,
Thought it'd be forever,
But now it's just old photographs.
No happy ever after,
But nowhere near disaster,
Same old ballad for the broken hearts.

It's a shame and it's so hard,
As it starts to fall apart.
Just as Doctor Frank sang, "What went wrong…"
And now you're leaving..

It's me, lay it down on me, lay it down on me.
There's nothing can’t you see, lay it down, oh babe, we'll fade in blue.

If it ended sadly.
Look upon it gladly
and think of all the better times.
Guess we can both agree
It is never easy
just somethings are never meant to be.

It's me, lay it down on me, lay it down on me.
There's nothing can’t you see, lay it down, oh babe, we'll break in two.

Farewell me and you.
Track Name: Let Down
Down, what a letdown, you’re a letdown
You’re a letdown.
You’re such a letdown.

A phantom menace of a big mistake
Crystal Skull of a huge disgrace
The end of Dexter Season 8
On a never ever ending down….

Your life's a Chinese Democracy
St. Anger's snare catastrophe
On a never ever ending down.

You’re just a letdown!
Track Name: 90s' Teenager
I was a 90s' teenager,
Had all my albums on cassette,
And bootleg punk rock videos of bands I would obsess.
Recordings off the radio, John Peel and Steve Lamacq,
Ignoring all my homework, all these tapes I'd listen back.

The education system, well it was never meant for me,
I just had an extensive knowledge of my own discography

They failed me I was studying another degree,
In the 1,2,3, form a line and bop at the beach.

I was a 90s’ Teenager, started when I was 14,
Jaded in Chicago got me into a new scene,
Handing in exam coursework that was always incomplete,
Geometry, Pythagoras, well it all took a back seat.
Track Name: Liquid Squidge
We have our eyes and ears surrounded,
Our way of rounding up the sheep.
Relax now you can't fight it,
As you slowly fall asleep.
Now we're in prosperity,
It's true, coz we've said so,
No austerity, you’re under.

Fall in love, with junk food and television.
Down the club and keep death accelerating
We don't want a well informed society.

So come along and you will be so hypnotised, we've got our finger on it
Just lose your mind in fantasy, absorb the lies, we've got our finger on it.

Your reptile brain accepts illusion,
Manipulated to consume.
Not privy to collusion,
We will never let you
Exhume all our tax dirty deeds,
Dumb-down dumb!
Heres a vapid celebrity! Look SHINY!

So come along and watch TV, be hypnotised we've got our finger on it
Just lose your mind in fantasy, absorb the lies, we've got our finger on it.

And you'll never need to care,
Well, unless it's written in the sun,
Old Irishman that wears a dress, sayin' all rude words,
He's funny, now just laugh and play along.

Hush now, go to sleep.
Track Name: Myoclonic Jerk
Declaration of a broken heart,
And I knew it was a hiccup from the start.
Imagination's going off the chart
Coz I’m never coming back for your love.

Started back in '92, I was full of attitude
Girls kept on breaking my heart, kept on breaking my..
From Sandra to Toni, to Billy, Leone, I was a tart
But I wanted something true, and I really needed you
Our worlds apart.

And I'm flying into sleep
Falling into terrors
Close my eyes and kill the sheep

Fell in love, it’s with my Myoclonic jerk
Holds me in my arms
All night I, I'm freaking out about this guy
Now it's time to let go!

Got me jumping out my skin!

Fell asleep alone again, Romeo where are you then?
You kept on waking me up, kept on waking me…
A spasm, a tremor, a dreamt up dilemma, you're not enough
Shudder at the thought of you, walking ‘cross my grave, it’s true
My! Oh, clone us!

Got me jumping out my skin!
A contraction of the limbs
Paralysis and fear sets in.
Track Name: Even Keel
Am I alive?
Locked in the region of the low and the high
Goodbye, I'll be, living a life of semi-lobotomy

I'll be fine, in this hole,
Safe and warm, go to sleep.
In a dream, Sertraline
Now I feel even keel.

Feel like I'm stuck,
Continue dreaming but I cannot wake up
OK, I'll be living a life of staying solitary

I've handed my notice in
I'm losing, make it work
The higher the dosage the more distant, It's a curse
I cannot believe I'm floating out of empathy
Another slow useless tired zombie.
Track Name: Cool Wave Magnolia
This isn't quite what you thought it would be
A future bright, now it's Pampers and pee
A nine to nine, commuting to-and-fro.
You used to write your brand of dark fantasy
But now you're stuck in rut, and nightly folding your suit and tie
Wondering why? Where did the time go?

Within the cool wave magnolia
Torpor starts to dictate where you'll go.
Lackadaisical ennui, in the heart of bourgeoisie
You've coined the phrase "I've gone Sunshine desserts"
And it's wearing thin.

You're holding tight, to meaningless accidie
No end in sight, a pointless master's degree
That you refuse to execute with great aplomb.
You could recite, all Carroll's Jabbawocky
But now imaginative and fun have all gone away
To hide the well has dried up, oh, sloth in a trough.

Your life was vinyl from Tom Petty to The Skids
But now it's Night Garden and Tweenies with the kids
And now you wonder, “Oh how did it come to this"
I guess you're just another monkey, monkey, manqué!

Oh, existential Malady and it's wearing thin!
Oh, in a catchy melody and it's wearing thin.
Track Name: Pasquinade
Started out as Pickled Dick way back in '99,
Members came and went, and so did all the time
Tearing 'round the country in a red Vauxhall Nova,
Ruth you can't bring that joint back through Dover.

We've been playing music all our lives,
We've been on a plane to China twice,
Kung Pao, lambs dick and rice,
Tsingtao and Valium's a vice.

So we'll go on with the show
It's an all dayer in Norwich, oh no!
And we'll tour, sleep on your floor
We are the new Status Quo.

Next we had that fight in Morrisons on the Hogwash tour,
Then we had another one, on Pete's studio floor
Let us not forget the scrap at the pizza shop in Hull,
Selling out to alcohol for a fractured skull.

We'll be playing music 'til we're dead
Will Glyn set his drums up by then?
Staying in The Dixons' spare bed
Trying to get The Dickies out my head.

So we'll go on with the show
There's a lock in, in Tongeren, so let’s go!
And we'll tour, sleep on your floor,
We are the new Status Quo.

I'll be writing songs until I'm deaf
That is when I think they'll sound the best
Olives from a service station M&S,
Four Koff to Finland for excess.
Track Name: Vanilla Gorilla
Never sung a song before
With naughty words that you can't ignore?
Fuck you, fuck you!
And I know it’s rude to swear
Recalcitrant and I just don’t care
Fuck you! Fuck you!

Have you ever gone against the grain?
Learnt Italian and moved to Spain?
Very vanilla, the plain bane of my disdain
Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!

Do you think it's time to break the mould?
Endless lists and constant self control
Very Vanilla, a pedantic drab arsehole
Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!
Track Name: Ferme La Bouche
All the ignorant and blinkered views
Now listen up this song’s for you!
Don't have time for the intolerant,
Small minded, through and through.
Petty, prejudiced and bigoted
Just ill-informed with rants askew.
Don't hear anything to back it up,
Hateful biased views.

Sick of our insular, insecure, lies!
I can't believe, I can't believe there's no love,
I can't believe in the blind mind, just stop trying to..

Talk to me, don't talk to me,
I'm tired of racial animosity
Don't raise your hand, Fermé la bouche!
Coz I don't ever wanna talk to you.

It's not the immigrants and benefits,
It's conglomerate, corporate news.
They'll say anything and make it up.
Protect tax-haven truths.

Talk to me, don't talk to me,
I'm tired of hearing the hypocrisy.
Shut your mouth, Fermé la bouche!
Coz I don't ever wanna talk to you.

I'm still living out in hope
the mirror blows away the smoke
We stop slipping down this slope
Multi-cultural kaleidoscope.